What is "enough", when it comes to money?
Who better to ask than a very successful entrepreneur turned investor of a multi-billion dollar fund
“I’m building sandcastles. Eventually they’ll wash away. But in the process, my measure of wealth is how much love I can give and receive.”
Yesterday, my tiny but mighty finance book club crew of four ambitious, money-minded women, did an intimate, in-person AMA with someone who lives by the abundance mindset when it comes to money (and has the net worth to show for it 🤑). Abundance mindset is most simply defined as a belief there are sufficient resources, both financial and experiential, for a fulfilling life.
I first met this investor at a tech conference, where he said something that caught me a little by surprise:
My most successful peers fully embrace abundance. They know and believe they will keep creating wealth, and they do.
If I’d heard that even a year ago, I might have brushed it off as a little too woo-woo. But the months of readings we’ve done at book club on the psychology of money and this very mindset, made me realize there must be something to it. But again, reading it is one thing. Hearing someone successfully live by it, felt more material.
I’ve been newly practicing a “just ask” mentality, so I shot him a text after the conference asking if he’d be open to talking about abundance and his money habits with my tiny little finance group.
Two minutes later, he responded yes.
We entered the meeting having prepped a lengthy list of questions, and little bit of a buzzing nervous energy. We were meeting up at his towering office, overlooking the sunset over the Manhattan skyline. I wanted to show up smart, ready to learn, and most importantly be gracious of his time.
“I’ll answer all your questions if you’ll allow me to have the first four mins of the meeting,” he shared.
I figured he wanted to do a bit of an intro and share his background (even though we’d all well stalked him ahead of time). Instead, he led us to the meditation room at his office, equipped with noise-cancelling headphones, deep comfy sofa chairs, and mood lighting, where we started the night with holotropic breathwork and a short gratitude meditation.
I had told him I wanted to learn cold, hard tactics to build wealth.
“I like to show not tell. Here’s a cold, hard tactic. I do this at least once a day, sometimes five. It’s how I stay grounded and center myself.” he shared.
I’ve always looked to define enough as a number. A benchmark I can set to hit. But the more I read and speak to the likes of this investor, I’ve found enough to be defined as a mindset versus a number. I’ve been asking myself on my own definition of wealthy. Is it really a number or the feeling of contentment? Of happiness? I could have a net worth of 10x of what I have today, but it doesn’t solve the biggest personal problems I currently sit with everyday. Enough has to be a state of being that comes from within, not a bank account.
The investor shared his definition of enough through a lens of Sikhi. “I’m building sandcastles. Eventually they’ll wash away. But in the process, my measure of wealth is how much love I can give and receive.”
My takeaway? His discipline to Sikhi, his values, and his laser focus on his purpose. What struck me was the intentionality he had set every aspect of his life with, from how he spent his time to who he surrounded himself with. Moreover, he didn’t do it at the sacrifice of his Sikh values, which really held for me. He was upfront in identifying himself as a straightedge (never drank or did drugs), a characteristic I sometimes hold back about myself as a point of difference and I saw him share from a point of strength. “You’re so powerful, you don’t need that crutch,” his parents had told him about alcohol.
We did eventually get into the numbers too.
The running joke amongst our finance group is how we all feel like we’re committing financial sin when we spend $30 on an uber over taking the subway (it feels good to be understood). We’re ambitious, yes, but I speak for myself when I say, the scale often tips more towards spending my energy thinking about saving money versus making money. The scarcity mindset runs deep, passed down from my parents and my parents’ parents.
“If you’re stressing about about that $30 uber, I can tell, you’re not thinking about how to make $1000/hr.” He had a point.
But the group pushed back. “What if we ran out? Don’t you ever worry you’ll not have enough?”
I used to worry. But ask yourself, have I ever let myself starve? What got me here, will get me there. I know I can work hard, I’ve been successful, and there’s no reason that will change.
Even with all the abundance talk, he admitted his ultra-wealthy friends (think $100M+ net worth) still text him asking how to redeem credit card points or complain about Equinox prices. The frugality mindset perhaps always sticks with you, and I’m not entirely mad about it. Frugality helped me build a baseline of financial freedom I’m proud of. But it is an impediment when it stops me from placing bigger bets, in the spirit of abundance, and living in the make $1000/hr energy.
I know I’m capable of being successful and wealthy, because what got me here, will get me there.
We’re doing a follow up session with him next week, where he’s opening up his personal finances and walking us through his playbook. I can’t wait.
xx
sargun
Finance Book Clubs Curriculum (thus far):
The Energy of Money – Maria Nemeth
The Psychology of Money – Morgan Housel
Die With Zero – Bill Perkins
Money Mapping Project (listing out how much we would spend in our “ideal” world)
Values vs Spending Alignment (do our values align with how we spend?)